Talk With Gloria: Why Love Feels So Confusing These Days

Talk with Gloria
By Gloria O Ukamaka

If love is supposed to be the most beautiful thing, why does it feel like a puzzle no one can solve anymore?

Love used to be simple, at least, it felt that way. People met, they connected, they talked, they tried. Now, we’re stuck in talking stages that lead nowhere, vibes that leave us emotionally drained, and relationships that aren’t really relationships.

It’s no longer about getting to know someone deeply, it’s about guessing games, unspoken rules, and silent expectations. We’re in a generation where no one wants to be the one who cares more, so everyone pretends they don’t care at all.

And if you’re like me, someone who loves deeply, genuinely, and wholeheartedly, you may have found yourself asking, “What is wrong with me?” more times than you’d like to admit.

The Pressure of Being “Chill”

There’s this silent rule now that says, “Don’t catch feelings too fast.”
Be chill, be emotionally detached, don’t ask questions, don’t define anything, don’t expect consistency.

But the truth is, love is not “chill.” It’s intentional, it’s clear, it’s grounded.

We’ve made it a trend to confuse peace with passivity, and in the name of protecting our hearts, we’ve started silencing them altogether.

I remember a time when I caught myself double-checking every text I wanted to send.
“Should I say this?”
“Will it sound like I care too much?”
“Should I wait for them to message me first?”

I was shrinking myself to keep someone who didn’t even see me.

And that’s what many of us are doing, shrinking our truth for the sake of temporary attention.

Why We’re Confused

Love feels confusing today not because we don’t want it, but because we’re afraid of it.
Afraid of being vulnerable,
Afraid of getting it wrong again,
Afraid of looking foolish,
Afraid of choosing someone who won’t choose us back.

So instead of asking honest questions, we pretend.
Instead of walking away, we hold on, even when we’re clearly being strung along.
Instead of saying, “I want more,” we accept less.

Confusion thrives where clarity is feared, and many of us fear clarity because we already know the answer, we just don’t want to face it.

Here’s the Truth

If you have to overthink every message, it’s not peace.
If you constantly wonder where you stand, it’s not love.
If they say one thing and do another, it’s not consistency, it’s confusion.

And let me say this clearly: You are not too emotional. You are not asking for too much. You are asking the wrong person.

Love isn’t supposed to drain you. It’s not supposed to feel like guessing or like a slow emotional death.

Love, in its purest form, brings peace, not anxiety.
Direction, not doubt.
Intention, not uncertainty.

And here’s the part we forget, or maybe were never taught:

Love isn’t just a feeling. It’s not chemistry or butterflies. It’s commitment.
Commitment scares off the unserious because it’s not about what I can get, it’s about what I’m willing to give.
And if you must give, it has to come from the overflow of the love you already have.
As they say, you can’t give what you don’t have.

What God Says

There’s a line from scripture that always grounds me when my heart feels like it’s spinning in confusion:

“For God is not the author of confusion but of peace…”
(1 Corinthians 14:33, NKJV)

This verse is for anyone who’s tired of not knowing what’s real.

Peace and clarity are not too much to ask for. They are your right.
Confusion isn’t noble. Waiting endlessly for someone to “figure it out” isn’t you.
If someone brings more tension than peace, you’re allowed to choose peace.

God’s kind of love doesn’t manipulate. It doesn’t play hide and seek with your emotions.
It sees, it speaks, it shows up. And it brings peace.

A Word for You

You’re not weak for wanting something real.
You’re not dramatic for wanting answers.
You’re not crazy for desiring consistency.

You’re just tired.
Tired of mixed signals,
Tired of starting over,
Tired of giving your heart to people who only hold it carelessly.

Here’s what I’ve learned:
Confusion is not love.
Consistency is.

And you, dear one, deserve consistency. From others, yes,  but first, from yourself.

Let’s Talk

Have you found yourself caught in confusing love lately? A situationship? A fading connection?
Drop your thoughts in the comment section, I’d love to hear your story and walk this journey with you.
If you’d like to talk on a more personal level, for counsel or healing conversations, send me an email.
📩 gloriaofficial25@gmail.com

📞 07064936800
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https://ngl.link/gloriainspires