Talk With Gloria: What You Accept ( Part 2)

Talk With Gloria 

By Gloria O Ukamaka

In Part 1, we talked about awareness. About how the way people treat you is often shaped by what you’ve unknowingly allowed. About the danger of silence in the wrong context. About self-awareness, communication, and the difference between patience and accepting less.

what do you actually do about it?

Because awareness without action changes nothing. You can know you deserve better and still stay in situations that prove otherwise. You can recognize the patterns and still repeat them.

So today, we’re talking about action. How to stop accepting what you don’t deserve. How to set boundaries without feeling bad. How to walk away when necessary. And how to rebuild your sense of worth if it’s been damaged.

This is for everyone. Whether you’re single and building standards, in a relationship and trying to reset expectations, married and protecting your peace, or healing from something that didn’t work out, this is for you.

Let’s get into it.

HOW TO STOP ACCEPTING WHAT YOU DON’T DESERVE

Here’s the first step, and it’s non-negotiable: you have to recognize your worth before you can enforce it.

You can’t set boundaries you don’t believe in. You can’t demand respect if you don’t think you deserve it. People will sense hesitation, and they’ll push past it.

So before you do anything else, settle this in your heart: you are valuable. Period.

Not because of what you do, not because of who validates you, not because of how perfect you are. You are valuable because you are. And anyone in your life should recognize that and treat you accordingly.

Once that’s settled, here’s what you do:

Speak up early. The first time something bothers you, address it. Don’t wait until you’re fed up and exploding. Don’t assume they’ll figure it out on their own. Say it clearly, calmly, and directly.

“When you do this, it makes me feel this way. I need you to understand that this doesn’t work for me.”

Be clear, not cruel. You don’t need to be harsh to be honest. You can set boundaries with kindness. But kindness doesn’t mean you soften the truth to make them comfortable. Say what you mean.

Follow through. This is where most people fail. You set a boundary, they cross it, and you do nothing. And that teaches them that your words don’t mean anything.

If you say something matters, prove it with your actions. If you say you won’t accept disrespect, don’t accept it. If you say you’ll walk away, be prepared to actually walk.

Empty threats just train people to ignore you.

THE POWER OF CONSISTENCY: WHY YOUR ACTIONS MUST MATCH YOUR WORDS

people don’t take you seriously because of what you say. They take you seriously because of what you do.

You can talk all day about boundaries, standards, and self-respect. But if your actions don’t back it up, nobody’s listening.

Person wey dey always threaten to comot but never comot, na joke. (You get me?) If you keep saying “I’m done” but you never leave, if you keep saying “this is the last time” but there’s always another time, people stop believing you.

And that’s not their fault. That’s yours.

Your consistency is your credibility. When you mean what you say and follow through every time, people learn quickly. They learn that your boundaries are real. That your words have weight. That you’re not playing games.

So stop making threats you won’t keep. Stop setting boundaries you won’t enforce. Say less and do more.

WHEN COMMUNICATION ISN’T THE PROBLEM, RESPECT IS

This can be painful sometimes, the issue isn’t that they don’t understand. It’s that they don’t care.

You’ve said it clearly. You’ve explained how it makes you feel. You’ve given examples, set boundaries, communicated perfectly. And still, nothing changes.

At that point, it’s not a communication problem. It’s a respect problem.

They heard you. They just chose to ignore you. They understood. They just don’t think it’s important. They know it bothers you. They’re doing it anyway.

And no amount of talking will fix someone who doesn’t value your voice.

So you have to ask yourself: Am I being misunderstood, or am I being disregarded?

If it’s misunderstanding, communication can fix it. But if it’s disregard, you need to make a harder choice.

THE COURAGE TO WALK AWAY (AND WHY IT’S NOT ALWAYS FAILURE)

Let’s be honest: not every relationship is meant to be saved.

I know we’re taught to fight for love, to never give up, to work through everything. And yes, commitment matters. Effort matters. Grace matters.

But there’s a difference between fighting for something worth saving and clinging to something that’s already dead.

Some situations require healing. Some require distance. And some require you to walk away entirely.

Walking away is not always failure. Sometimes, it’s the healthiest, bravest thing you can do. Sometimes, staying is what destroys you.

You can love someone and still leave. You can value what you had and still recognize it’s over. You can honor the past and still choose your future.

Choosing yourself is not selfish. It’s necessary.

And here’s what people don’t tell you: there’s a freedom that comes with letting go. The weight lifts. The confusion clears. You stop fighting battles that were never yours to win.

So if you’re holding on to something that’s draining you, hurting you, breaking you down, maybe it’s time to ask: Am I staying because it’s good for me, or because I’m afraid of what happens if I leave?

HOW TO REBUILD YOUR SENSE OF WORTH AFTER BEING DEVALUED

If you’ve spent a long time accepting less, the damage doesn’t disappear overnight. You start to believe the lies. That you’re too much. That you’re not enough. That this is all you deserve.

The truth is: what someone did to you doesn’t define your value.

You are not less because someone treated you poorly. You are not broken because someone didn’t know how to love you right. You are not damaged goods.

Rebuilding starts with rejecting those lies. With reminding yourself daily that your worth was never up for debate. With surrounding yourself with people who reflect your value back to you.

You can’t heal in the same environment that hurt you. So distance yourself from toxicity. Remove yourself from spaces that make you question your worth. Spend time with people who see you clearly and treat you well.

Relearn what you deserve. Not from social media, not from movies, but from God’s Word and from healthy examples around you.

And give yourself grace. Healing isn’t linear. Some days will be harder than others. But every day you choose yourself is a step forward.

BREAKING THE CYCLE: DON’T CARRY OLD PATTERNS INTO NEW SITUATIONS

Here’s what happens when you don’t heal: you repeat the same patterns with different people.

You accept the same disrespect. You ignore the same red flags. You make the same excuses. Different face, same cycle.

So whether you’re single, starting something new, or working on your current relationship, learn from the past without living in it.

If you used to stay silent, practice speaking up. If you used to accept breadcrumbs, demand consistency. If you used to ignore red flags, pay attention this time.

Set your standards from the beginning, not after things go wrong. Don’t wait until you’re hurt to enforce boundaries. Protect your peace proactively.

And if you’re married, it’s not too late to reset. Have the hard conversations. Address the patterns. Set new expectations together. Growth is still possible if both people are willing.

WHAT HEALTHY BOUNDARIES ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE

Boundaries are not punishments. They’re not control. They’re not you being difficult.

Boundaries are simply decisions about how you allow yourself to be treated.

Here’s what they can look like in practice:

– “I won’t continue conversations when you’re yelling. We can talk when we’re both calm.”
– “I need honesty. If you lie to me, I can’t trust you, and without trust, this doesn’t work.”
– “I value quality time. If you’re always distracted or late, it tells me I’m not a priority.”
– “I don’t accept disrespect, even in jokes. If it hurts me, it’s not funny.”

Healthy boundaries protect both people. They create clarity, safety, and respect. And anyone who gets upset when you set them is someone who benefited from you having none.

THE SHIFT: WHEN YOU STOP ACCEPTING LESS, EVERYTHING CHANGES

Here’s what happens when you start valuing yourself: the energy shifts.

People who were comfortable disrespecting you suddenly have to adjust. Some will rise to the standard. Some will complain. Some will leave.

And that’s okay.

Because the ones who leave when you set boundaries were only there because you had none.

When you stop settling, you stop attracting people who want to take advantage. You start attracting people who recognize your worth and treat you accordingly.

Self-respect is magnetic. It draws the right people in and pushes the wrong ones out.

GOD’S WORD

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” — Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)

What you allow into your life, into your heart, into your space will shape your future. Guard it intentionally.

CONCLUSION

You are not responsible for how people choose to treat you. But you are responsible for what you allow.

The power is in your hands. You can keep accepting less, or you can decide today that you’re worth more. You can keep making excuses, or you can enforce your boundaries. You can keep staying, or you can choose yourself.

It won’t always be easy. But it will always be worth it.

Because the truth is, what you accept today is shaping what you’ll experience tomorrow.

So choose wisely. Choose yourself. Choose better.

LET’S TALK

Have you ever felt like you were trying to love but couldn’t access it? Or maybe someone loved you but you couldn’t feel it?

I’d love to hear your story.

📩 gloriaofficial25@gmail.com
📞 07064936800