Talk With Gloria: Social Media & Your Relationship (Part 2)

Talk With Gloria 

By Gloria O Ukamaka 

In Part 1, we talked about the damage social media is doing to relationships. The illusion it creates, the comparisons it fuels, the time it steals, and how it’s making people emotionally absent even when they’re physically present.

what do you actually do about it?

Because here’s the reality, we’re living in a digital era, and it’s not going away. Technology will keep advancing, platforms will keep evolving, content will keep getting smarter and more persuasive. But technology changing doesn’t remove personal responsibility.

Whether you’re single, in a relationship, or married, this concerns you. Because digital influence doesn’t wait until you’re “ready,” it shapes how you think, what you expect, and how you relate.

In this era, relationships don’t survive on autopilot. They survive on intentional choices.

Today, we’re talking about boundaries, privacy, presence, and how to protect what matters to you.

WHY DIGITAL BOUNDARIES MATTER IN RELATIONSHIPS

Let me start by saying this: boundaries are not punishments, and they’re not control.

Boundaries are decisions. They’re the agreements that say, “This is how we protect what we value.”

Without boundaries, everything gets access, your time, your emotions, your attention, and relationships suffer. Not because people are bad, but because nothing is guarded.

In a digital world, exposure is easy and access is cheap. But connection? Connection is fragile. And anything fragile needs care.

So if you want your relationship to survive this era, you need to guard it. Intentionally. Consistently. Together.

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

This wasn’t a suggestion, it was an instruction. God didn’t say guard your heart sometimes, or only when you’re married, or only when things feel risky. He placed responsibility squarely on the individual because the heart directs life.

In a world full of access, guarding your heart is not old-fashioned. It’s necessary.

YOUR MARRIAGE IS PRIVATE, NOT CONTENT

your relationship is not meant for display.

Love was not designed for performance. But social media has turned relationships into proof. People post to show they’re happy, to make exes jealous, to get validation from strangers who don’t actually care.

And when relationships turn into content, something is lost. People begin protecting appearances instead of addressing issues. They curate moments instead of nurturing growth. They chase likes instead of depth.

Strong relationships don’t need constant witnesses. They need commitment, consistency, and care.

Some things grow better in quiet. Not every argument needs commentary, not every milestone needs public affirmation, not every struggle needs outside opinions.

When too much of your relationship is open to the public, confusion enters easily. People begin to advise where they don’t understand, comment where they weren’t invited, influence decisions they don’t carry responsibility for.

Privacy doesn’t weaken relationships, it strengthens them.

STOP SUBBING YOUR PARTNER ONLINE

Let’s talk about something toxic that’s become normalized: subbing your partner on social media.

You had a fight, so you post a cryptic message. “Some people don’t appreciate what they have.” “I’m tired of being disrespected.” “Real ones know what I mean.”

Everyone knows you’re talking about your partner. And that’s exactly what you wanted, for people to validate you, to tell you you’re right, to make your partner look bad publicly.

This is emotional manipulation, and it’s wrong.

Here’s what I’ve learned, and I’m speaking from experience because I’ve done this before. When you’re upset and you run to social media instead of addressing the issue with your partner, you’re not solving anything. You’re making it worse.

You’re seeking validation from people who don’t know the full story. You’re airing your private business to an audience that will judge your partner based on your one-sided narrative. And even if you delete the post later, the damage is done.

Both parties play a part in conflict. Even if one person started it, both are involved. You’re not innocent just because you’re the one posting about it.

So here’s the rule: if you can’t say it to your partner first, don’t post it online.

Handle your issues privately. Talk to your spouse, talk to a counselor, talk to a trusted mentor. But don’t make your relationship problems public content.

THE PROBLEM WITH SEEKING VALIDATION ONLINE

When you post about your relationship struggles, people will rush to validate you.

“You deserve better.” “Leave them.” “They don’t appreciate you.” “You’re too good for this.”

But here’s the problem: these people don’t know the full story. They’re only hearing your side. They’re projecting their own issues onto your situation. And most of them have failed relationships themselves.

Your marriage problems should be solved with your spouse, a counselor, or godly counsel, not with social media strangers who have no investment in your healing.

The validation feels good in the moment, but it doesn’t actually fix anything. It just makes you feel justified in staying upset instead of working toward resolution.

SET BOUNDARIES WITH SOCIAL MEDIA IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

If you want to protect your relationship, you need clear boundaries. Here’s what that can look like:

Time Boundaries:
– No phones during meals, give each other undivided attention
– No phones in bed, charge them outside the bedroom
– Set specific times for social media instead of scrolling all day

Content Boundaries:
– Agree on what you will and won’t post about your relationship
– Don’t post anything that makes your partner uncomfortable
– Don’t share private moments, arguments, or intimate details

Interaction Boundaries:
– Don’t entertain flirty DMs or comments from others
– Don’t follow accounts that make your partner insecure, exes, people you used to talk to, or content that crosses the line
– Be transparent about who you’re talking to online

Emotional Boundaries:
– Don’t have deep emotional conversations with people of the opposite sex online
– Don’t share things with strangers that you should be sharing with your partner
– Don’t turn to social media for comfort that should come from your spouse

These boundaries work when both people understand why they exist. It’s not about control, it’s about protecting what you’ve built together.

WHAT YOU GIVE YOUR ATTENTION TO SHAPES YOUR BOND

connection doesn’t disappear overnight. It fades slowly.

It fades when conversations are constantly interrupted by notifications. When phones are always present during quality time. When being “busy” on social media replaces being available to your partner.

Over time, closeness weakens, not because love is gone, but because attention is scattered.

Relationships need focus to stay healthy. What you repeatedly turn toward, you slowly lean into. If you’re constantly turning toward your phone, you’re leaning away from your partner.

Put the phone down. Look them in the eye. Listen without thinking about what you’re going to say next. Be present.

Connection grows where attention goes.

EMOTIONAL LINES ARE CROSSED LONG BEFORE PHYSICAL ONES

most betrayals don’t begin suddenly. They begin quietly. Physical cheating begins with emotional cheating. 

With conversations that feel “safe.” With sharing personal things with someone who isn’t your spouse. With emotional closeness that no longer belongs where it should.

And often, it’s excused because nothing physical has happened. “We’re just talking.” “It’s harmless.” “You’re overreacting, okay o… Lol!

But emotional distance at home usually starts with emotional closeness elsewhere.

If you’re sharing your struggles, your dreams, your frustrations with someone online instead of your partner, you’re building intimacy in the wrong place.

If you’re looking forward to messages from someone more than conversations with your spouse, something is wrong.

Honesty here matters. Emotional affairs are real, and they destroy marriages just as much as physical ones.

REDISCOVER QUALITY TIME WITHOUT PHONES

Remember what we talked about in Part 1? Quality time has been reduced to sex because people don’t know how to connect outside of that anymore.

Here’s how you can fix it: put the phones away and rediscover each other.

Talk. Not about bills or schedules, but real conversations. Ask deep questions. Share your thoughts, your fears, your dreams.

Play games together, cards, board games, something that requires you to be present and engaged.

Go for walks without phones. Cook together, yes do it!  Watch a movie without scrolling. Laugh together.

Friendship in marriage matters. You should enjoy each other’s company, not tolerate it. You should look forward to spending time together, not see it as an obligation.

When you prioritize real connection over digital distraction, intimacy comes back naturally.

STOP COMPARING YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO WHAT YOU SEE ONLINE

We covered this in Part 1, but it’s worth repeating: your relationship is yours, not anyone else’s.

What works for them might not work for you. What they post isn’t the full picture. What looks perfect online might be crumbling behind the scenes.

Focus on building your relationship, not copying someone else’s. Celebrate your progress, not someone else’s highlight reel.

Hebrews 13:5 says, “Be content with what you have.” That includes your relationship. Stop chasing what you see online and appreciate what’s real in front of you.

FOR SINGLES: LEARN THESE BOUNDARIES NOW

If you’re single or in a relationship and not yet married, learn these boundaries now. The habits you build today will follow you into marriage.

Don’t air your relationship business online. Don’t post every date, every gift, every moment. Keep some things sacred and private.

Guard your heart from comparison. Protect your attention from distraction. Build healthy digital habits before you say “I do.”

CHOOSING CONNECTION AGAIN

Rebuilding closeness doesn’t require drama. Sometimes it starts with small, intentional choices.

Put the phone down during dinner. Listen without multitasking. Be fully present when they’re talking. Choose each other again, deliberately.

Connection grows where attention goes.

GOD’S WORD

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”— Proverbs 4:23

What you allow into your heart through social media will flow into your relationship. Guard it wisely.

CONCLUSION

Social media is not the problem. Lack of intention is.

This era requires awareness, discipline, and personal responsibility. If relationships are not protected, they will be influenced, slowly, and often unnoticed.

Technology will keep advancing, but that doesn’t mean you have to let it control your relationship. You can set boundaries. You can prioritize presence over performance. You can keep your marriage private. You can guard your heart.

The question is not whether technology will change. The question is whether you will be intentional enough to protect what matters.

Your relationship is worth fighting for. And sometimes, that fight looks like putting your phone down and choosing the person in front of you.

LET’S TALK

Has social media affected your relationship? Are you struggling with comparison or distraction?

Let me hear your story in the comment section. Or if you need to talk privately:

📩 gloriaofficial25@gmail.com
📞 07064936800